Fun Ways To Hide Your Pre-existing Condition So Republicans Won’t Take Away Your Healthcare

Oh boy, oh gee! Jason Chaffetz sure was in a rush to take away people’s health care! While Paul Ryan was dreaming of the easiest ways to kill sick Americans in college, you may have been struggling with any number of pre-existing conditions, like I don’t know… depression! Under the newest Republican bill, having a c- section, sexual assault and domestic violence all could be reasons that you’re denied health coverage. So what to do? Here are some disguises you can give your pre-existing condition in our soon to be Gilead world.



Continue reading “Fun Ways To Hide Your Pre-existing Condition So Republicans Won’t Take Away Your Healthcare”

Top 3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Use Phrases like “Dumpster Fire” when Discussing Politics

The phrase “Train Wreck” has become so ubiquitous it has lost some of its bite.  Cue “Dumpster Fire,” an evocative phrase used to describe a total, utter, mess of a disaster.  Hillary Clinton’s campaign  recently deployed it to describe the most recent GOP presidential debate.

While you might find the comparison apt, it’s important to outline the ways in which slinging around this slur is completely unfair to dumpster fires:

  1. First and foremost, dumpster fires are, by definition, contained by the walls of the dumpster, thus prevented from spreading and destroying the country.
  2. Dumpster fires operate with a certain calm sense of dignity- which image is more likely to induce rage stroke?
CNN's subtitle writers had a hard time deciphering the GOP debate on Thursday — so they chose not to. The debate was captioned with "[unintelligible yelling]" at some point of the debate and caught by eagled eyed Twitter users during the night.
Good god why
Ahh that’s better


3. Finally, dumpster fires are more predictable- a steady stream of water can extinguish a dumpster fire, while nothing can extinguish the hell of the 2016 primary season we have been enduring for what seems like an eternity.

Remember, language is powerful.  The next time you want to express your political beliefs using colorful language, please do not do so at the expense of the voiceless dumpster fire.