Despite being raised in a culture that would have me believe that there is nothing more sinful or shameful than loving someone of the same assigned gender as yourself, I have always struggled with accepting my attraction to men more than my attraction to women. After all, it is a truth universally acknowledged that men are mostly pretty bad. Not all men, they keep telling me. Then how come I still have yet to meet a single Not-All Man, huh?
1. have both of my kidneys surgically removed, then throw them in the trash
2. never drink a Diet Coke again
3. listen to Radiohead
It just happened one day. I was texting a friend, and I said something like, “I’m on the case!” And there he was. Gazing up at me from the secondary keyboard on my iPhone 5.
You can’t imagine your childhood without Alton Brown. He was a fixture, popping in periodically on weekday afternoons to play puppets and build nifty contraptions with you. He always had something cool to show you about the food you took for granted. He made you laugh, equipped you with a list of fun facts to impress your young friends.