How To Quit Social Media And Ascend Immediately to Heaven Because.. You’re Better Than Everyone

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I quit social media! Did you see? I announced it on Instagram, Facebook, four square, bitmoji, snapchat, WhatsApp, yelp, the av club comments section, Reddit, my moms Facebook wall, 4chan, MySpace, livejournal, domino’s company’s Facebook page, my blog, my vlog, my hog, a British bog, to a group of children playing pogs, to a class of ladies practicing Krav Maga, my dog, Ms. Funderhog, and now lastly, I tweeted it. In case anyone missed it, I’m above the fray. In case anyone missed it, I promise I’m going away. In case anyone missed it, I’ll just go check them all again.

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