Live Blog of Me Listening to “You Don’t Own Me” on Repeat

If you’re reading this and you’ve never seen the 1996 American comedy First Wives Club, please stop readings this and watch that, it is kind of worth your time and the last scene will make you feel so empowered!

Lesley Gore is so right. I am an independent woman who doesn’t need anyone and can’t be owned! I’m going to sing loudly to this song in the shower like the independent woman I am. Remember when you tried to tell me that you were the only one who really appreciated me? Lesley Gore appreciated me and she wouldn’t have appreciated your manipulative bullshit!

Nobody owns me baby! I’m an independent woman! I killed a spider the other day! This song makes me want to climb up to the top of the mountain and belt it out at the top of my lungs. I could totally do that! I am basically Cheryl Strayed right now.

Omg, I am going to build a cabinet or something. Stop texting me! I am not bound to my phone! I am going to throw my phone off the top of my Cheryl Strayed mountain so I never have to bullshit with you again. Independent women don’t need phones; we have our hands or our feet or our hearts to lead us.

I’m free! I don’t owe anyone anything (except for my student loans). Why am I still in this town? Why am I still waiting around? I’m not waiting for anyone! I can go anywhere! I’m going to move to another city where I can be my own person. For the love of God, stop posting photos of us together! I’ll post photos of myself taking great trips and doing great things. I’ll ride a trolley in San Francisco. I’ll ride that trolley all over town. That’s what independent women do, and I can do it all!

Remember when you used to say I wasn’t funny? When you used to love to find my mistakes? I’m not here for that. I’m not here for you anymore buddy! It’s just me and Lesley Gore and I’m gone.

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