I got there ten minutes early… so that’s on me
I couldn’t help it, I was really hungry!
Ordered a margarita and some guac
Tried not to look up at the clock
Check to see if you’ve messaged me that you’ll be late
seems kinda rude on our very first date.
Not to mention we haven’t even met yet,
are you freddie prinze jr, is this some kind of bet?
The waitress is circling and I’m getting nervous
Is everyone staring at me? Are you doing this on purpose?
Did you show up and see me and decide to leave?
What the fuck did I do to you Steve?
You don’t even know me, I’m a nice person
or at least, there’s lots of people that I’m not worse than
I’ll get on tinder and bumble to soften the blow
Order another margarita, “no ma’am you can’t get it to go.”
Maybe you’re dead or you’re stuck in traffic
maybe you got caught in a time portal and your period is now Jurassic
Or did you get scared and nervous too?
I don’t blame you, I took an anxiety poo.
It’s been half an hour, the whole restaurant knows
I get some beef tacos & tequila shots, I down two of those.
Salt tequila lime, the whole restaurant applauds
Because they know it was you, not me that was the cause
You don’t really know me, this girl you rejected,
so I’ll forget tonight, and keep on living, unaffected.