Modern Day Carrie: Swiper No Swiping!

What if Carrie Bradshaw had to deal with this millenial bs…

As I perused the internet from underneath my covers as I tried to go to bed last night (bad! I know!), I came upon a reddit thread asking women what signs they saw on tinder that they immediately swiped left for (for the non-dating app people in the audience thats like on Project Runway when Heidi Klum says, “some days you’re in and the next day you’re out). And, as I read through the list of things that these modern day daters would X someone for, I was just a little taken aback. Some highlights: wearing sunglasses in too many photos, Hat in every picture (What are you hiding), soul patches, salmon shorts.  Maybe dude lives in a sunny place? Maybe he’s really Guy Fieri? Are you worried that he’s hiding the face of Lord Voldemort under his hat? Truly, I was taken aback.

One of my friends has gone the complete opposite direction, she swipes right on everyone no matter what, which has resulted in a full fledged attack on her tinder messages from all sides. When I tried this, one of the guy’s opening lines was “I think I dated your best friend [monkey covering mouth emoji]” to which I responded “you dated my dog???” I understand it’s hard to start a conversation with a stranger, but I’m really not sure where you were going with that. This approach seems more likely to work statistically, but is that really what dating in the app age has come down to? Do we have to resort to some type of Jeff Ma type of dating analysis?

So where do we, these little Dora the explorers of the modern age find ourselves? Swiper no swiping? Can you look past a soul patch to find the soul underneath? If you’re approached by someone in a bar, you can’t immediately know that they proudly post photos of themselves holding up dead animals on the internet or if they, god forbid, wear salmon shorts. You’re forced, instead, to hold a conversation with someone. To find out if maybe they like hunting, but maybe you also share an interest in film noir and he has an extra ticket to see Blue Velvet at Alamo Drafthouse next week (pls if this is you, I’d like to go). Maybe he wears hats a lot because his head gets cold, or maybe he’s bald, or maybe he does have Lord Voldemort under there and you are missing out on a chance to fight the dark arts. So do we swipe no more? Or do we swipe even more? Do we build relationships off of preconceived notions or do we sweep all of that under the rug and give people chances? I’m not sure, but I do know that we are all better when we give people a chance.



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