Anatomy of a Tweet

DLou is standing in line at the grocery store, the man in front of her is buying three boxes of mac & cheese, a plunger, and a bottle of Andre. She contemplates her next move, should she talk to him? should she imagine what kind of night is ahead for this  dude? No, she should tweet it. She begins to type.

@darcylou: lol this guy buying 3 boxes of mac&chz, a plunger, and Andre, he’s lactose intolerant but havin’ a good day and needs to celebrate. 

DLou feels good about that tweet but also slightly judgmental, like this bro in the Cowboys jersey never did anything to her. 

DLou is thinking too hard about the conversation she just had with the guy she likes. She can’t even comprehend what the words they just spoke to each other were. Did she black out from his pure, sensual attractiveness?

@darcylou: low-key mortified rn, like what am i even doing u r so cute lol

Dlou doesn’t feel great about that and deletes it moments after posting, SO CHILL. 

DLou feelin’ good about her life recently, got a real good vibe going on. I don’t mean to brag. Oh shit.

@darcylou: I don’t mean to toot toot my own beep beep.

nailed it.

Skimming Facebook on my phone, sees a post that isn’t very funny but trying really hard to be, shaking my head. I want to write “lol” on it. I’m grumpy.

@darcylou: Someone writing “lol” on my jokey fb post is maybe the worst thing that could ever happen to me

Ugh, this tweet is just going to make someone respond with “lol.” Shit, there it is.


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