Giga Pets. We all have one. You are probably, feeding your little digital pet, or picking up its virtual feces at this very moment. But how did this crazy invention come about, and why is it so popular? I will answer some of those questions and more, in Part 1 of the 10-part series.
“I love picking up poop,” said a well-proportioned, tall, yet not abnormally tall, man as he looked across the picnic table at his classmate for a reaction.
“Excuse me?” Madison was confused, but not surprised at her friend’s outburst. When she first met Gary Iga, Madison thought he was just a quirky guy. She found what she had thought to be his sense of humor charming. However, the medium-tall well-proportioned undergrad would later figure out that Gary, in fact, had no sense of humor at all and “hated” The Simpsons.
“Not human feces. I love picking up animal poo.” Gary was pleased with his clarification, and so, as he had practiced many times in front of the co-ed bathroom mirrors, he expressed this satisfaction with a teeth baring grin.
“Okay, Gary. That sounds fun.” Madison did not want to be rude.
“Yes, it is. Thank you! I knew I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed the task.”
“Um well..I didn’t….”
“Maybe since you love picking up poop as I much as I do, you can help me come up with a solution to a problem which I’m sure has brought you many sleepless nights as well.”
“Gary, I consider you to be a friend, and I care about you, but…”
“You’re my best friend too!” Gary ecstatically exclaimed. However, this time, instead of his practiced grin, confused due to his excitement, he carefully placed his chin in his cupped hand and frowned.
On that day, January 1, 1995, Madison wanted to leave that table even more than my mom wanted to leave us kids after Dad’s affair. Although she was desperate to GTFO, Madison did not want to hurt Gary. “He already seems fucked-up enough,” she thought to herself.
“What’s the problem, and what can I do, Gary?” Madison begrudgingly offered her assistance.
“If you want to pick up poo, you need poo.”
“If you need poo, you have to get something that can produce the poo.”
“So, Gary, do you want to adopt a pet dog?”
“No! Of course not! First of all, dogs are a waste of space. They do nothing to benefit this planet, except of course, give me poop to pick up.”
“What about a cat?”
“Same thing! And you didn’t even let me finish which was pretty rude by the way.”
“Sorry, Gary. I shouldn’t have….” Madison couldn’t finish apologizing because Gary interrupted her with his second point.
“My second point is that one dog or cat or any other being can only produce so much poo per day and per lifetime. In other words, their poo production is limited, and therefore so is my enjoyment.”
“Can’t you just pick up something besides poo, like a rock, and pretend it’s poo?” Madison, did not solely rely on her well-proportioned body to make it through this life. She was also very smart.
“I do not have a very good imagination. “
Gary was right. Even Madison thought to herself, “I daydream multiple times a day, and even I wouldn’t be able to make myself believe a non-poo object is poo. How did it get there? What animal produced it?”
They seemed to have reached a dead end.
Just as the well-proportioned pair were about to give up, a guy walked up to their table, and asked, “Are these your keys, Dawg? Someone left them in the computer lab.” As the weirdo spoke, he jingled the keys in front of Madison and Gary’s faces, a beautiful brown lanyard dangling from the top key ring. The two friends knew they had found the answer. Gary and Madison turned to each other and said simultaneously, “Keys. Dawg. Computer Lab. Brown. Poop….we should make a little keychain computer which simulates picking up dog poop!”
Neither Madison nor Gary knew that this little conversation between friends would change the world forever.
To Be Continued…
Next Week’s Sneak Peek: Blueprint of Giga Pet’s Original Design: