I Bet You’ve Never Even Heard of These Life Changing Avocado Hacks, You Stupid Bitch

Avocado is a super food, and if you don’t know that by now, how dumb are you?? Get your shit together with these mind blowing hacks for eating more of that sticky green stuff.

ce_0115_-avocadowoman-660x330

If you’re a dumbass who bought your avocados before they’re ripe, grab a paper bad and pop those bad boys in. After just 2 or 3 days of your meaningless life, your little green slimers will be the perfect guac consistency.

If your impatient ass is too damn important to wait that long, slip an apple or banana into your paper bag to speed up the process. They’ll emit ethylene gasses that promote ripening, which I bet you didn’t know, you god damn idiot.

When your garbage self forgot to think ahead and you find yourself with a little green boy on the verge of being over ripened, shove that guy in the fridge to slow down the ripening process.

For lazy mf’ers who can’t even get off their ass to do the dishes, try cracking an egg into a halved avocado and popping that sloppy sucker in the oven. A perfect¬†breakfast with no clean up, you garbage slut.

Now that I’ve educated you imbecils, go forth and gorge your fat faces on some of god’s god damn testicles. Enjoy!

avocado-health-benefits-of-women

One thought on “I Bet You’ve Never Even Heard of These Life Changing Avocado Hacks, You Stupid Bitch

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s