I’m the Bachelorette Now

The-Bachelorette

WEEK ONE

CHRIS HARRISON: Gentlemen, Ashley, this is the final rose tonight.

ME, ASHLEY: Um, give it to Bradathan I guess.

CH: Nickstopher, Dandrew, take a moment and say your good byes.

WEEK TWO

CH: Gentlemen, Ashley, this is the final rose tonight.

A: Mike can have it.

CH: Mikey, Michael, take a moment and say your good byes.

WEEK THREE

CH: Gentlemen, Ashley, this is the final rose tonight.

A: Ugh just take it, Brady.

CH: Brody, Brudy, take a moment and say your good byes.

WEEK FOUR

CH: Gentlemen, Ashley, this is the final rose tonight.

A: Let’s just say Zack F. Honestly, what do I care?

CH: Zack P., Zach Z., take a moment and say your good byes.

WEEK FIVE

CH: Gentlemen, Ashley, this is the final rose tonight.

A: Uh. Brian?

CH: Bryan, BrieAnn, take a moment and say your good byes. 

WEEK SIX

CH: Gentlemen, Ashley, this is the final rose tonight.

A: Wolfgang Amadeus, you want this shit?

CH: Johann Sebastian, Ludwig Von, take a moment and say your good byes.

WEEK SEVEN

CH: Gentlemen, Ashley, this is the final rose tonight.

A: *tosses rose at Woe Bringer*

CH: Soul Devil, Son of Darkness, take a moment and say your good byes.

WEEK EIGHT

CH: Gentlemen, Ashley, this is the final rose tonight.

A: Raphael has the best shirt on today.

CH: Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello, take a moment and say your good byes.

WEEK NINE

CH: Gentlemen, Ashley, this is the final rose tonight.

A: Chandler Bing, take this rose before I change my mind.

CH: Ross Gellar, Joey Tribbiani, take a moment and say your good byes.

THE FINAL ROSE

A: Lucifer, I’ve developed some type of feeling toward your general vicinity over the course of this whole deal, but honestly I’m just not that into you. Boy, bye.

A: Beelzebub, they said I had to choose someone, so, uh, congrats.

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