What My Blue Lipstick Really Means


I’m a public spectacle without a life or personal identity.

Please,  do point and stare at me from your car while I walk to the post office. Go ahead and point me out to your grandmother too while you’re at it. Obviously, I love being treated like free entertainment when I go out to do my errands or else I wouldn’t have put this lipstick on!

Haha! Suck it, old people!

Yeah, I see you glaring at me like I just personally insulted you and all your favorite past presidents. Eat your heart out, baby, I chose this unconventional lip color just to piss you off.

Help me, I’m desperate.

“Wow, you must really like getting noticed,” you say to me with that tone of voice. You know, the condescending one.

And you’re so right! I only wear fun things because I’m dying for someone to passive-aggressively call me out for being a sad attention whore. So go ahead and just say it. Help me help you help me!

I don’t care what anyone thinks.

I don’t give a flying damn! Never give me advice or share any of your thoughts with me. You might as well be sharing your life with a trash can because, honey, that’s exactly where I’m tossing all of your input. I don’t care about anyone’s words but my own, and you can tell that because my lipstick is not a shade of red or pink.

Definitely not that I like the color blue and it matched my outfit today.

Please. Why would it ever be that simple?

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