Things You Don’t Need a Law Degree to Do

  • Have an erotic dream about one or both of Steven Avery’s defense attorneys
  • Roll your eyes and say, “Objection!”
  • Power walk in and out of buildings while holding a briefcase

  • Slam your hands on the table and demand to know on what grounds
  • Look a freshly orphaned teen in the eyes and swear to them that no matter what you have to do, justice will be served
  • Shout “I wouldn’t have to if you would do your job!” at a police detective
  • Sit down across a table from someone and immediately tell them NOT to tell you anything
  • Grab your forehead like you’re expecting a migraine and ask “What exactly do you expect me to do with this? I’m not a damn miracle worker.”
  • Look solemnly out a window and tell someone how things just haven’t been the same since 9/11
  • Put on a black suit and order a double espresso at the most expensive coffee shop in the neighborhood
  • Say “Don’t answer that,” every time someone asks someone else a question
  • Smugly drop a folder of loose papers onto someone else’s desk
  • Demand more evidence
  • Punch a wall and act like it didn’t hurt your hand
  • Become deeply disillusioned with the American justice system leading to a severe depression which causes you to quit your job and pursue your real passion of floral arrangement

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