Why I’m Furious About Kim Kardashian’s Naked Selfie

Can you believe this? Kim Kardashian, a human woman with actual boobs AND a butt has put a picture of her naked body on the Internet. Disgusting. I am furious about this, and here’s why.

Kim Kardashian is being a bad role model. 

This is upsetting to me because:

  1. There is one single way a role model must be. it is defined and concrete, and Kim Kardashian is NOT it, believe me. 
  2. Every famous person has to be a role model whether or not they want to. It’s the law, and frankly it’s egregious that Kim is not in jail right now for breaking it. In fact, I’m calling 911 right now.
  3. It is a personal affront to me, personally, whenever anyone is not a good role model to the whole world. How could Kim do this to me?

What about her children?

North and Saint West may be actual babies, but that does not mean they are not fully capable of being scandalized by the realization that sometimes their mother doesn’t wear clothes. I am so furious on behalf of these poor, traumatized babies who have had their innocence stolen from them far too soon. In fact, I’m calling Child Protective Services right now.

Women are supposed to be classy.

What ever happened to the Audrey Hepburns or the Grace Kellys of this world? And before you try to tell me that they died because of things that happen when humans get old and that society has marched on and evolved since their existence, I should tell you that I am literally incapable of understanding that social evolution is a natural and necessary process. Back in the good old days before TV was in color, women never had boobs and sex only happened between straight, married people who didn’t enjoy it even once.

It’s so desperate.

It’s soooo desperate to show a picture of your body. Obviously she has low self-esteem. Can you imagine the lack of confidence necessary to be proud of your body? Kim clearly hates herself a lot if she thinks she looks good enough to expose herself to the public.

It means she’s dumb.

Um, if Kim Kardashian had one ounce of brains, she would be saying smart things to get attention instead of being hot for attention. We shouldn’t praise people for just being born hot. We should praise them for just being born smart. And it’s a fact that you can only be either hot or smart, and no one can be both. Kim Kardashian is clearly hot, therefore she is dumb. And it’s very important to hate and shame all idiots for being born idiots. 

There you have it, my thorough account of why what Kim has done is Very Bad. If you have any sense, you will be just as outraged as I am.

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