Life: it’s probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Sometimes it feels downright impossible! If you, like me, feel the weight of the world and its endless, terrifying, possibilities crushing you down at all times, then you’ve come to the right place!
As it turns out, the cure to my all consuming health problems was simply hidden in adorable folders curated by my friends and frenemies.
It’s true, I fixed myself with inspirational pinterest quotes, and you can too!
Sure, it’s easy to fixate on your flaws (you have SO many!), but did you know that there’s actually more to life than thigh cellulite and a crippling fear of skateboards? As per this pin’s guidance, I encourage you to make a list of your wonderful and unique qualities.
For example, while I may not be: successful, rich, a college graduate, happy with my life and my choices; I am: an expert at boiling water, polite to my friends’ parents, functionally literate, emoji proficient.
Perhaps the most crucial lesson I learned through pinning is that I can never accomplish anything in life while I am plagued by these pesky Negative Emotions. It’s important to remember that thoughts become actions, and when you believe yourself to be the human equivalent of an overflowing dumpster in the backyard of a frat house, that’s how life will treat you. So stop thinking that way, you stupid idiot. You stupid, stupid, idiot. Oh my god, you will NEVER get anything right if you keep having these negative thoughts. Jesus Christ.
If searching the internet to find a meaning to life has taught me anything, it’s that I deserve a treat. I deserve a treat every single day, and it doesn’t matter how expensive or unhealthy. As long as it looks cute in an Instagram post, I am free to imbibe in however much pink champagne and how ever many pairs of impractically shiny shoes my cold, emotionless heart desires. I may be bloated all the time and in debt from all this sparkling wine, but I spend my nights tipsy and avoiding human emotions, and I look damn cute doing it!
Well if this doesn’t motivate you to suck it up, I don’t know what will, you ugly lump!